Hello,
Trust is not a word that is often communicated in the world of work or for that matter in any of the relationships we have, including the one we have with ourselves. It is however, at the heart of ALL interactions, relationships, situations and experiences.
One definition of TRUST includes:- Confident expectation of something… which I believe relates well to how we think about ourselves and how we engage with other people. Are we confident that we or the person in mind will deliver on an expectation? There are really 2 schools of thought here – those of us who offer trust upfront and those who say that people must earn their trust. Clearly I ‘box’ myself in the former statement and believe that by showing people that you trust them and expect great things from them, they deliver on this gesture.
“Trust men and they will be true to you, treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Trust has so many elements to it, some of those include, delivering on your promises, consistent behavior, transparency, intention, honesty and basically the alignment of what you think, say and do at all times. Before we are able to apply these to other people we have to apply them to ourselves. Surely we have to be able to trust ourselves before we can trust others?
The exercise to follow will help you determine where you are on the scale of trust. Dare to be honest with yourself and then share it with family, friends and colleagues to get a broader perspective of the trust in your life.
Exercise: The scale of TRUST
|
Trust behaviour
|
Rating |
Non-trust behaviour
|
| Self – trust: I trust who I am and what I deliver | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | No trust in self |
| All relationships are built on trust | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | No relationships are built on trust |
| Honest communication | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Lie, tell half-truths, double talk, disguise the truth |
| Show respect upfront | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Don’t care or show you care, selective respect, no respect, respect needs to be earned |
| Transparent in your communication style | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Withhold information, keep secrets, create illusions, pretend |
| Admit to and correct mistakes | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Cover up the mistakes, don’t admit the mistakes, don’t solve the problems |
| Display loyalty | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Sell others out, take credit, sweet talk a person and bad mouth behind their backs |
| Achieve expected results | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Non delivery, driven by tasks instead of results |
| Make things better | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Things stay the same or get worse |
| Aware of reality – realistic optimist | 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 | Busyness is your purpose with no real understanding of what is real |
| Set and maintain clearly communicated expectations | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Assume expectations, don’t disclose expectations, don’t have any |
| Accountable for your thoughts, words and actions | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Do not take responsibility, Blame others, pass the buck |
| Listen first, then speak. Listen to understand. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Ignore, pretend, selective listening, listen to respond |
| Honour commitments | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Break commitments, don’t commit, make vague commitments |
| Offer trust to others upfront | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Withhold trust, fake trust, tell people they must earn your trust |
So, are you trustworthy? Do you think people trust you? Do you trust the people you work with, your friends, your family members?
Some Inspiration
“Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.”
Johann von Goethe
“A world class organization is also a high-trust organization. Trust is one of the ageless elements of every peak performing company. If your people don’t trust you, their Manager and their co-workers, there is no way they’re going to go the extra mile to give you their best efforts. Without trust, there is no commitment. And without commitment, there’s no company.”
Robin Sharma – Leadership Wisdom
“He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted.”
Lao Tzu
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