One of the things that I have learnt to do is ‘act the way I want to feel’. That’s right, I trick my mind into believing I am happy, energized and feeling good. This does border on some definition of insanity I am sure, like singing in the morning, smiling at the person who cuts me off in traffic, dancing when I am so tired but I know that there are still things to do, laughing for no other reason than to keep the energy vampires away, and having a sense of humour when my children have a tantrum in a shopping centre (once again). Try it sometime – not the tantrum, the ‘act the way you want to feel’ part. Your mind and mood will respond to the actions of your body.
I believe that happiness has its source in 3 places:
- Your attitude – the fact that happiness is a choice.
- External things – yes, you can buy happiness for short periods of time.
- Inner joy – find your inner joy instead of pursuing happiness. This is about knowing and doing what you love and knowing what makes you smile.
Happiness is a choice
1. Define what happiness means to you
Happiness is probably the most important goal of our lives. Most of us end up pursuing happiness instead of being happy. We place our hopes on the possibility that external things will bring us happiness and disregard our ability to generate inner joy. So, our dialogue sounds something like, “One day when I get….”, If I could just get….”. Happiness is not an ‘ IT’, it has to be a ‘BEING’. When you are happy, what are you doing, where are you doing it and who are you with? Complete the sentences:
- It makes me happy to do/be….
- It makes me happy to see…
- It makes me happy to hear…
2. Accept happiness into your life
Happiness is not only an emotion – it is a state of mind offered to us daily as a choice. We can either choose to accept it into our lives or choose to be angry, sad, frustrated and bitter. Don’t get me wrong, I do think that there is a place for all these emotions, however, we can still choose to deal with them from a place of happiness and positivity. By accepting happiness into your life, you will be able to work through other emotions from a better frame of reference.
Are you willing to be happy with the way things are right now?
This raises questions because if you say you will be happy, it may mean that you will settle with the way things are and will not encourage change in your life. If you are completely at peace with the way things are right now, does this mean that the changes you desire will not be created?
Suffering with the way things are right now, will not assist the change either, so why not be at peace, loose the suffering and still do what is needed to be done to change what you have identified. Somehow we have believed that we need to suffer to change. Choose happiness to start the thinking process again.
3. Happiness is contagious
All of us have the gift of happiness to give and share with people. Have you noticed how a smile or laughter can change the mood of an individual or a whole room of people?
“The way to have what you want, is to give what you need.” Oprah
If you want happiness in your life, give it to others through your smile, through a joke, through sharing your passion, through helping, through an act of kindness, through a sincere compliment, through giving what you have to give, through laughing just because you can. Notice what happens and how YOU feel.
4. Forgive now
If you are feeling exhausted, it might be because you are living in 3 places at once – the past, the present and the future. Lighten the load and get over your past by forgiving who needs to be forgiven so that you can move on and live in the now. Many times in life, you are the one that has to forgive YOU. The world has forgotten your past, however, you hang onto it using it to sabotage possibilities in the future. These are often the limiting beliefs we hold onto, for example, I am not clever enough, I never win, I would never be able to do that, I have tried and failed…What are yours? Do you need to forgive yourself for something?
There is a powerful saying, “Holding onto anger is like taking arsenic and waiting for the other person to die.” Forgiveness has the ability to set you free.
Dr Robert Holden sums it up beautifully, “Forgiveness offers insurance against bitterness, resentment, cynicism, heart disease, an unhealed past and an unhappy future. It cancels excess baggage.”
Give yourself permission to be free and forgive the people that you believe have wronged you. You might be one of them. Go to http://visionworx.co.za to read a powerful message on The Fringe benefits of failure by JK Rowling. Food for thought!
5. Gratitude
There are phases in our lives when we get fixated with what we don’t have and we forget to be thankful for what we have in our lives. Whether it is good health, a beautiful home, a secure job, loving partner, supportive friends, close family, happy children, there is always something to be thankful for. Gratitude prevents us from feeling like a victim in life.
Although the universe could be challenging us in one area, it will also be supporting us in another area. Choose to focus on the positive things in your life in order to give you the energy and the confidence to deal with the challenges. Choose a time in the day when you can say… ‘I am thankful for……..’
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